Need You Now
by JerichoholicAnonymous
Summary: Despite all the bridges he's burned, all the heinous, awful things he's ever done, Seth always has a warm bed waiting for him when it's all falling apart.


_Hello! Another Ambrollins story for you. The title and plot was inspired by Lady Antebellum's ever popular song 'Need You Now'. I hope you enjoy this one-shot! Please leave a comment if you do. Every single bit of feedback counts. :)_

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Dean is woken up by loud, incessant knocks on his door. He can barely look around to catch a glimpse of the time. It's 1:15 in the morning.

He drags his feet to the door, rubbing his eyes with his fingers, trying to wash away his sleepiness. He already knows what awaits him on the other side of the wall.

Here he was, in all his glory, his knuckles ready to pounce on the wood once again before he realizes that the door had already been opened. Here he was, looking at him with worn out eyes, his body slightly buzzing from the one too many drinks he knew he'd had. Here Seth was, standing all alone in his doorway, looking raw, cut open, looking like every bit the man he'd fallen in love with all these years ago.

"Sorry for bothering you this late."

"It's okay."

"It's not okay. I just... I..." Seth's voice falters, his breath hitching. His hand raises to his chest, drifting over it, strained and tense all through his fingertips, motioning in wild, frantic movements. "I just... I just needed..."

"Hey. It's okay. It really is."

Seth doesn't have to talk. He doesn't have to explain himself. Dean already knows. It's happened before. He knows Seth is on the verge of a breakdown. He knows he feels the weight of the world crashing down on his shoulders. He knows that the pressure is getting the best of him. He knows that it's the reason Seth is here. Because he's the one Seth runs to when the going gets too tough. He always has been, despite everything Seth put him through. He never turns him away. He never could.

He guides Seth into the room with a tilt of his head. He lets him walk past him, runs a hand through his shaggy hair as he watches Seth come to a stop in the middle of his room. Dean closes the distance between them, pressing himself up against Seth's back.

Seth turns to him, instantly leaning their foreheads together. He clasps their hands together, firmly intertwining their fingers. His eyes flutter shut while his lips tremble as he released a painful whoosh of air from his lungs.

"It hurts so bad, Dean. I feel like I'm gonna fuckin' lose it. It hurts so much."

The words speak to Dean more than he thinks Seth knows. They resonate with him because he knows that feeling of hurt all too well. But he lets his pain aside, locks it away for the time being. He lets it aside because Seth's pain matters, much more than his'.

"I know. I know it hurts. But it's gonna be alright. Everything's gonna be alright. I promise."

Seth's eyes open to look into Dean's, and Dean feels like shattering to pieces. He's been in this situation before, with Seth coming to him late at night, drunk and holding onto him like he's his only anchor left in this world. It tears him apart. But as pathetic as it is, it's times like these, where he selfishly gets Seth all to himself, that keep him going. All he can do is hold onto this moment, before it flees him and comes to an end that he knows will rip through him.

Seth further tightens his clutch on their hands and nuzzles his nose against the side of Dean's face. Dean slowly detaches himself from his grip, only to slide his hands under Seth's jacket, taking it off inch by inch, from his shoulders to his wrists.

He walks him back a few steps, sitting him on the edge of the bed. He cautiously drops to his knees, feeling Seth's eyes on him. He tentatively looks back at him for a second, before he focuses back down. He unties Seth's shoes, taking them off one at a time, carefully placing them next to him on the floor. His hands wander up his legs, lingering for a second too long at the waistband of his jeans, innerly gratified by the trail of goosebumps left under his touch. In a long, smooth motion, he pulls the jeans down to his ankles, Seth shifting on the mattress to ease his way out of them. With one last look to devastating brown eyes, Dean rises to his feet. Silently, he makes his way to the left side of the bed and lays on it, eyes fixed on the ceiling before gravitating to Seth.

Seth looks over his shoulder, his expression a blank canvas. Dean rubs the empty spot beside him in circles, an invitation for Seth to take. A wave of warmth suddenly bursts through Seth's eyes as he crawls up the mattress before he's within a whisker away from Dean. Dean doesn't move from his position, gathering all his strength to keep it together. Seth lays a hand across Dean's chest, hovering over him, looking at him like he's staring into his soul.

"I don't deserve this. I don't deserve you."

Dean is almost sure that a few stabs through his heart would've been less excruciating than hearing this. Because to anyone else, Seth was speaking the truth. He was a despicable human being who walked over people and tarnished every good relationship he ever had. He hurt Dean, crushed his soul and spat on everything they'd built together. He _didn't_ deserve him. And yet, to Dean, _he_ was the one who didn't deserve Seth. Seth left him because he finally figured it out, figured out what Dean knew all along. Dean was never worth his time of day. He was a piece of shit who deserved nothing but misery. Seth only smartened up and did what was right.

To hear _that_ from Seth was like ploughing the knife even deeper. Because it reminds him of just how much he'd lost.

Dean places his hand over Seth's, caressing his wrist with his thumb, masking his thoughts with the feel of Seth.

"Don't worry about it, okay? Forget about it. Just tonight. Forget it all."

Seth scrutinizes where their hands meet, his head gingerly nodding in accord. Dean's other hand comes up to cup Seth's cheek, feeling Seth's lashes blinking against his fingers. He realizes that he'd give anything up to take away Seth's pain. He'd give himself up in a heartbeat.

"Just relax. Lay down with me."

Gradually, Seth scoots down under the sheets until he's laying next to Dean, so close that Dean feels Seth's soft breath on his skin. Seth pulls on Dean's hand to turn him on his side, wanting them to be face to face. Seth's gaze is so intense and Dean wants nothing more than to cower away from it.

"I'm sorry. About everything. I'm so sorry. I lo-"

Dean's index finger immediately shoots up to cover Seth's lips. A sense of desperation seizes him because he can't physically risk hearing those words. He simply can't.

"Shhh. You don't have to. Don't worry about it. It doesn't matter."

Except it does. It does matter, because the thought of Seth saying those words to him makes him want to combust, and it hurts so fucking bad. It hurts that only alcohol can bring them out of him, that he only gets _this_ Seth when he's breaking apart, that this moment will fleet away before the sun can rise.

Dean runs a soothing hand up and down Seth's back.

"Get some rest, Seth."

With longing in his gaze, Seth buries his head in the crook of Dean's neck before turning his back to him. He drags Dean's hands along and rests them on his stomach, where his own hands latch onto them. Dean hooks his chin over Seth's shoulder, allowing himself to hang onto him too.

As he feels Seth's breath even out and his body fall into a slumber, Dean begins to crumble. Falling asleep next to Seth feels like everything he's ever wanted out of life. Having Seth confess his love to him is what he's dreamt of since he laid eyes on him. And despite all the god awful things he's done and said to him, Dean _knows_ how Seth feels. He knows Seth _did_ give a damn about him in the first place. He knows Seth didn't just see him as a business partner. He knows they were always more. He knows that what they had was true. Because moments like _these_ prove it to him. Because Dean is the only one Seth seeks comfort in when the loneliness becomes too much.

It kills Dean that Seth needs to be drunk to open up. It kills Dean to know that Seth will put a lid on his feelings as soon as he sobers up. It kills him that he'll go on like he doesn't know him as soon as he walks out of that room. It kills him, but right now, it doesn't matter. He's got the one man he's ever wanted pressed against his body, sleeping by his side, needing him as much as he does. All he can do is hope that one day, he can soundly go to sleep knowing he'll wake up to the same sight, to a Seth who craves him unconditionally, drunk or sober, broken or whole.


End file.
